I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
And then he peed in my hair
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