I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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