And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There r osticjed everywhere
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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