problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize