great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
