what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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