ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
