Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
