Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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