Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
