I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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