I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
