yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
