how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ttyl tear gas
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
