You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
