Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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