i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
