so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Found your dick twin last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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