mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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