My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
