His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
