need another drink. this is the easiest way
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
