He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
