forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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