Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
two words: eviction party
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
