Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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