I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
