omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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