Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
