it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
