high people should be assigned attendants
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
