just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
