When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
