out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
