just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
