i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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