NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
