I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
pray to the hookup gods
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
