was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
