i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
