those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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