I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
