i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I love you. Go after that dick
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize