planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
