Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i came on her dog
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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