I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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