I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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