I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize