he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
