are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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