I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
