This girl is more easily done than said...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
