People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
