I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
