yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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