i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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