My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
