I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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