well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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