Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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