Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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