You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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