He disabled his match.com account in front of me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
