i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize