I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
